Quick But Noteworthy Parentheticals to "Enlightenment and My Progress (Or Lack Thereof)"

I have come to the calculated conclusion that, mathematically, Mr. Snoogles is wierd to the nth degree. His strangeness knows no bounds.

After a minor allergy attack this morning, Mr. Snoogles kindly informed me that the way I pronounce my sneeze is uniformly American. He postulated that the HA-chooing is, to wit, a Western Thing. I asked him, in turn, what the correct pronunciation of a Japanese sneeze might sound like, to which he replied:

"HAKKKUUUUUSHOOOOOYAAAAAA!"

In other recent news, Mr. Snoogles, commenting on the endearing, youthful qualities of the recently admitted freshman girls, announced:

"They are cute, like little pussies!"

It took the International Exchange Center staff a second to realize that his similie's comparative antecedent was meant to invoke an image of small playful kittens, NOT a collection of vaginas.

He is now performing karate chops over the (rather unruly) copy machine.