Enlightenment and My Progress (Or Lack Thereof): Lesson 3

Interesting it is to consider the factors and choices that have (or have not) led up to the present moment. Countless philosophers discuss the switchbacks, crossroads, and forks in the road of determinism, some believing there is an ethereal cosmic law that governs our actions, others holding that everything is at its best random and unpredictable. This latter school of thought supports the individual’s mastery of his or her own destiny—taking the Bull of Fate by its horns and yelling ole!—while the former simply implies that our fates are already decided by natural laws or, more abstractly, by a higher intelligence that often goes by the name of God. Personally, I tend to pace back and forth between both camps. Sometimes I believe that there is indeed an indescribable force shaping my decisions and molding the choices I make into a sculpture of some higher purpose (see common cliché “Everything Happens For A Reason” for more details). On the other hand, though, I can’t ignore the attractiveness of the feeling that life is mine to create, and there is no wheel of fate other than that which I choose to spin.

But, today, Fate won a serious battle in the War of My Beliefs. With the change-over in the fiscal Japanese year rapidly approaching, there have been numerous shiftings, moves, re-adjustments and substitutes within the International Exchange Center where I work for part of each day. We have a new staff member joining us to replace the woman who will be expecting a child soon, and as a result there have been some adjustments regarding where I should sit. With this period of upheaval on the horizon, it was decided that my desk will be moved across the room to the island near the door where Mr. Snoogles himself sits.

As of today, I now join Mr. Snoogles’ once-isolated structure of papers, computers, fliers, and random collectibles—he welcomed me to his denizen with the exclamation:

“Welcome to Johnny! You now join the Old Ash Man!”

I thanked Mr. Snoogles for his warm welcome, but chose not to inquire into what exactly an “Ash Man” is, lest we fall deeper and deeper into the vacuum of Mr. Snoogles’ complexity. However, on a relevant note, I was lucky enough to receive a quick karate lesson on the Spider-Leg Move, which Mr. Snoogles gracefully demonstrated in the office for me. As far as I can tell, it is a multi-directional lunge used to either surprise an opponent with an attack, retreat from and opponent’s attack, or avoid an opponent’s attack. He then followed the demonstration by predicatbly asking me if I had ever seen the movie “The Goonies.” I replied that of course I had, so he proceeded to grill me with questions about the character Sloth and where he fell in the birth-order of the Fratelli Bothers. I was forced to admit that I didn’t know, but guessed that he was perhaps the middle or even the oldest child. Mr. Snoogles, however, looked unconvinced. The discussion was then brought to a close when I replied that no, I have never bashed mailboxes with a baseball bat as depicted in the movie “Stand By Me.”

I can see that this recent development will prove to be quite helpful in my quest for Enlightenment, and I owe this pleasant supplement to my daily meditations to none other than the force of Fate. After all, I would not so much as dream to foolishly assume that my recent change in desk locations was simply the result of some random twist of Chance. No, I can be sure that this is nothing short of a divine power’s intervention into the progress of my spiritual awakening. I am confident that great things await Mr. Snoogles and me.